In this crazy journey, it is so easy to get caught up in what you don't have . . . and then something happens and you are slapped in the face with what you DO have.
Yesterday we had a little scare.
We took our beloved little fur baby Molly to the dog park. She HATES the dog park. Well, it's more of a love hate sort of relationship. She LOVES getting to go, but HATES having to interact with the other dogs (she is a bit of a snob and won't play with just anyone). But, at this particular park, there is a spot, just outside the dog park boundaries, that is a little service road and there is lots of fresh grass, which she loves. Our normal routine when we go to this park is to park the car on the opposite side of the park from this little grassy area. We walk the long way around the park, go to the grassy area and run her. It's by far her most favorite thing to do at the park! Mister stays at one end of the grassy area, I walk quite a ways down and then we call Molly back and forth and she just RUNS . . . and smiles. She LOVES this part of the park. When she is all tuckered out, we cut back across the park, led by our little fur baby who is ready to go to her car and go home to her couch.
We did this yesterday. We parked on the far end of the dog park, walked the long way through the outskirts of the park along the river and made our way to the beloved grassy area. She was in heaven. She looked like a little bunny hopping through the grass. Then all of a sudden, she collapsed. She was hurt. Back right leg was pulled up as tight as she could get it against her body. The Mister waited with her while I went to get the car (longest walk ever) and then we were off to the puppy ER.
She cried the entire way to the vet. She was not happy. Papa sat in the back with her the whole way and did what he could to make her comfortable.
We thought she had hurt her paw, but it turns out, she may have damaged her CCL - the equivalent of our ACL. She has pain meds and anti inflammatory meds.
18 hours later (babying, coddling, cuddling, loving on the Moo 18 hours later) she seems ok. Like nothing ever happened ok. Weight is being put on both legs. No crying. No anything. If you were to see her right now, you would think we are crazy. And maybe we are. But the thought that SOMETHING could have happened to her and she could be gone scared the crap out of us.
We are in every definition of the term . . . crazy dog people. She is our baby. Our one and only child . . . with fur and four legs, but that doesn't matter. We are her everything and she is ours. And that is what matters.
This blog has been so focused on what I don't have and it's depressing. Depressing because I have a lot. So much more than so many people. I am very lucky. I feel bad that Molly had to be in pain for me to remember that, but I got it. :-)
A baby won't complete us - the Mister and me. We are already complete. Our relationship is stronger and more solid than it ever has been before (in so many ways thanks to this infertility journey, oddly enough!). We have the most amazing life. We have everything we could ever want and then some. A baby won't complete our family, it would just be the icing on the cake. The sweetest, richest, life enhancing icing.
I want the icing, but I am really, really happy with the cake.