5 months . . .

It's been five months since I was apparently last here.  That feels like a lifetime ago! 

So where are we?  

Pretty much where we were five months ago.

Let's see.

Five failed IUI cycles and two canceled IUI cycles due to my body not responding to meds.

About that whole my body not responding to meds thing.  Yeah.  In December, my body decided that it was tired.  It didn't want to mature the follicles.  It was just done.  In February, we kicked things into high gear.  Like super high gear.  Four shots a day high gear.  Did you know that you can hit a nerve in your leg when you give yourself shots?  No?  Well, you can.  And it hurts, so I would advise not doing that. :-)  

We are so totally pros at this whole shot giving thing now.  The Mister mixes the cocktail, hands the syringes to me and with a poke and grimace, it's done.  Done until the next night, that is.

This latest cycle was just plain hilarious, really.  When I went in for the actual IUI procedure, it was like a bad Saturday Night Live skit.  

You have to go in with a full bladder.  Full enough to where you would take the next exit on the freeway kinda full. 

My appointment was at 11:00, check in at 10:45 (with a full bladder).  They take me back a little late, probably about 11:10 or so.  Check my bladder and guess what?  It was full.  Go figure.  I am a pro at this whole IUI thing now, remember?!? :-)

11:30 . . . still no doctor.  The sweet nurse comes in, gives me the extension to her desk, just in case I really, really can't wait anymore, says it won't be too much longer, there is an embryo transfer that is taking a bit longer than they planned, and then left.  

11:50 . . . Dr. O comes in, with two nurses and another doctor.  Turns out Dr. O wants a vacation and this guest doctor is going to cover with him, so he is shadowing today getting to know the practice.   No biggie.  The more people the merrier, especially when I am naked, spread eagle and inverted upside down.  No biggie.

Remember the full bladder thing?  My bladder is so full by this point that it turns out it is pushing my cervix up out of reach and that isn't a good thing.  After about five minutes or so of intense pushing on the speculum by BOTH doctors (so very awkward . . . and not too comfy, either) they decide that I have to empty my bladder just a little bit.  So off I go!  The nurse gives me a specimen cup and tells me I can let one and a half specimen cups go.  And that, my friends, was like a mean, mean joke! At this point I figured I would be good to go, but now my cervix has flipped backwards.  Awesome.  With some more pushing, pulling and readjusting, everything got to where it needed to go and it was done!

After all that, 10 days later, we find out it didn't work.

And now, we move forward to IVF.

Because the clinic we go to has had some changes in their policies with the hospital they are affiliated with, we have to wait 90 days while the staff is recertified (or something!) before we can do an egg retrieval.  So now we are waiting.

But the waiting isn't all that bad.  I mean we get the next several months to just be us.  No shots.  No crazy oral meds.  No early morning ultrasounds every three days.  No tracking of anything.  No obligatory sex because a test says we should have sex (which never goes well, by the way.).  

It's officially be over four years of trying, three of those years working with fertility clinics.  There have been lots of people and things involved.  Lots of tears shed.  Lots of arguments.  Lots of dollars. Lots of a lot of things.

And while our goal hasn't changed, the wishes and hopes and dreams of having our own baby have not diminished, we, or maybe just I, am ready.

Ready for a break.

Just us.

And that is pretty exciting.

But when we get word that we can move forward and everyone has the new certification they need for the OR and we can start the next round of meds and shots and ultrasounds, you better believe that we will be ALL OVER THAT.  

A break will be nice . . . but a baby will be even nicer.